Gendered Holidays: A Fashion Lover’s Perspective

National Sons Day Celebrating the Boys in Our Lives and Recognizing All Gender Identities

National Sons Day celebrates boys, but as a mom to a nonbinary child, I often feel overlooked.

Alexis Barad-Cutler and her nonbinary kid

Caption: The author and her kid. – Alexis Barad-Cutler

As a fashion lover, I have always found joy in celebrating special occasions, especially when it comes to dressing up my kids. But there’s one thing that used to leave me feeling a little bit left out – gendered holidays. Yes, those days when moms post adorable pictures with their daughters, flaunting their matching outfits and girly manicure dates. As a mom to two assigned male children, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of fashion envy on those days.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved being a #boymom and showcasing my boys with pride. But there was always a part of me that secretly longed for a daughter, a mini-me to share fashion tips and explore the world of beauty together. That is until my youngest child came out as nonbinary, breaking the mold and shattering gender norms.

Child Came Out as Nonbinary

When my child declared, “I’m not a boy or a girl, I’m both,” over a slice of pizza, it was a fashion revelation. Suddenly, all the gendered holidays felt even more perplexing. Where did we fit in? How should we celebrate? It was as if our fashion compass had gone haywire.

You see, as a mom to a gender-nonconforming kiddo, I’ve come to understand that fashion has no boundaries. Gender is a spectrum, and the traditional definitions of “boy” and “girl” are outdated constructs. So, when a server assumes my child’s pronouns or someone mistakes them for a girl because of their outfit, it’s like a fashion faux pas that makes us both want to pull our long hair out.

For us, fashion is about self-expression and breaking free from societal norms. And in our quest for acceptance and belonging, the online fashion community has become our sanctuary. Social media has provided us with a platform to connect with others who share our journey, where we can celebrate our unique styles and indulge in fashion without judgment.

But let’s talk about those gendered holidays. While I don’t want to take away anyone’s opportunity to celebrate their sons and daughters, I can’t help but feel that there’s room for all our children. After all, fashion knows no boundaries, and neither should our celebrations.

Perhaps it’s time to expand our horizons and embrace days that celebrate nonbinary and trans kids. Imagine how incredible it would be if our children felt seen and appreciated on these special occasions. Until then, let’s remember that these gendered holidays, though seemingly ubiquitous, are not the only way to celebrate our kids’ unique journeys.

So, to all you fashion lovers out there who, like me, have wrestled with the complexities of gendered holidays, let’s unite in our love for fashion that transcends labels and expectations. Together, we can create a fashion-forward world that embraces diversity and inclusivity.

What are your thoughts on gendered holidays and fashion? How do you express your unique style? Join the conversation and share your fashion journey with us!