“Unraveling the Snow Globe: How Trauma Plays Dress-Up and Eats Up Our Sanity”

Unlocking the Truth Unveiling the 5 Sneaky Ways Our Trauma Manipulates Us and Concrete Steps to Overcome It

5 Ways Our Trauma Lies to Us + What to Do

Portrait of young woman in 20s wearing stylish outfit standing against white and yellow wall background Image by Clique Images / Stocksy

We all have a past, don’t we? But what if I told you that you don’t need to make amends for it? Yep, you heard me right! You don’t need to carry the burden of past hurts like a weighty backpack full of rocks. It’s time to shake up that snow globe of trauma and let the colorful confetti of healing fall gently around you.

Trauma has a sneaky way of sticking to us like glue and replaying on repeat, taunting us with sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures. It’s like our brain and body forgot to hit the snooze button on the alarm clock of the past.

Now, let’s dive into the lies that trauma loves to whisper in our ears, shall we? These lies are like a toxic fashion statement that keeps us trapped in patterns of self-destruction. Here are the top five lies trauma tells us:

Lie # Lie
1 You are damaged goods & your needs don’t matter—so you better play “Ultra-Nice”
2 You have to prove your worth, so you over-perform
3 Boundaries, empathy, and forgiveness are an entangled mess
4 You are bad for having certain thoughts…and even gut feelings
5 You don’t deserve a good relationship and fall into ones that hurt you further

Let’s face it, traumatic experiences can make even the most fashionable among us feel like we’re wearing a “damaged goods” label. But darling, your needs are just as important as anyone else’s. You don’t have to be a people-pleasing fashionista like Mila Kunis’s character in Luckiest Girl Alive. Pleasing everyone at your own expense? That’s so last season!

And hey, I get it. We’ve all had those moments when we’ve worked so hard to prove ourselves that we feel like we’re auditioning for the role of Superhuman. But listen up, you are already more than enough! No need to break out in a sweat trying to keep it all in. It’s time to give yourself some well-deserved respite.

Now, let’s talk boundaries, darling. I know, it sounds like a fancy word for a fencing tournament, but trust me, it’s all about graceful self-expression. If you’re worried about sounding like a quaking mess when setting boundaries, don’t fret! With a little practice, you’ll be rocking those boundaries like a runway model strutting her stuff.

But here’s the thing—don’t forget to extend that empathy you’re so good at to yourself. Yes, I know, you’re a compassionate soul who can understand everyone else’s flaws and foibles. But darling, you need some empathy too. It’s like withdrawing interest from your “Good Karma Bank” to shower yourself with love and understanding.

Enough of feeling guilty for having realistic assessments or trusting your gut instincts! Those thoughts and feelings are there for a reason, and they don’t make you a bad person. So go ahead, embrace your inner judge (the good kind!) and give yourself permission to call out bad behavior when you see it.

Now that we understand how trauma hijacks our nervous system like a mischievous rollercoaster, it’s time to take control. Your brain and body have been playing tricks on you for far too long. It’s time to break free from the repetition compulsion and create a new fashion statement—one that screams empowerment.

Start by honoring yourself, darling. Your needs, feelings, and boundaries are more than valid. Don’t be afraid to speak up and voice your likes and dislikes. It’s amazing how those small acts of self-expression can snowball into courage and healing.

And remember, you don’t owe anything to someone who mistreated you. Just because there were some good moments doesn’t mean you have to keep paying your dues in empathy and effort. Let go of that guilt and free yourself from the chains of toxic relationships.

Focus on what makes you shine, darling. You may wonder why you fell prey to abuse while others walked away unscathed. But we all have our weak spots, just like that super confident friend who can’t say no to a dare. Use your strengths to strengthen those weak spots. It’s all about self-improvement, one fashionable step at a time.

Whether or not you’re ready for a new relationship, remember that it’s your choice, darling. You don’t need to rush or listen to society’s prescriptions. Take your time and find what works best for you. After all, fashion and relationships are all about individual style.

So, my fabulous reader, now that you understand the mechanics of trauma and abuse, it’s time to unleash your inner fashion guru and reclaim your power. You deserve goodness and love, just like the friend and lover you are so considerate to.

Let’s start breaking free from that metaphorical playground where trauma held us captive. It’s time to leave that chapter in the past and redefine our present. You are the author of your own story, sweet darling. Embrace the healing journey and remember, “Then was then. Now is now.”

Stay fabulous and stay fierce!